Allowing - May 2, 2014
Another birthday has come and gone and I'm thinking about the year 2014; the people who also have come and those who have gone; the lessons learned; the emotions felt; the things let go of and the wonderful experiences I have had. This is the year of ALLOWING. It is a year of learning to allow others to be whoever they need to be, and also allowing myself to be myself, AND expecting others to also allow me to be whoever I need to be. There is a curiosity around these suppressed emotions I've carried with me for so long, and the extraneous in my life which I am letting go of to make room for what really matters to me. It is the year of realizing what is most precious...and allowing the precious to be paramount in my life and thoughts.
A Place of Strength and Brokenness - May 2, 2013
Half a century, five decades, fifty years...and life, by now, has most certainly left its imprints on me. Do I exude grace or resentment? Probably some of both. What I do know is this process we call "life" with its finely woven blend of struggle and ease has brought me to a place of unknown strength and also unexpected fragility and brokenness. I try to think of what could possibly have these two existing together. They seem so very diametrically opposed. An egg, however, is strong...strong enough to enclose and shelter new life...and it is fragile, so VERY fragile, that it is able to break when the life within is ready to emerge. I suppose an egg is a rather inelegant picture of how I feel, but somehow it makes sense...let the year of the egg begin!
Exploring Solitude through the Eyes of Grace - May 2, 2012
What happens when solitude is thrust on you without permission? There is a saying that "all wish for solitude who have the family hearth to come home to, but those with a silent home don't always appreciate the fine art of loneliness...".
Forty-nine finds me temporarily single, unexpectedly upended, sputtering "whys" and other wounded words. But here I am now, gifted with a special place of alone-ness, a chance not to be missed, a moment in time which may be shorter than I'll end up wanting. Beauty exists in solitude. Let the lonely year begin...
"Failure? How can I fail when I am nothing?
There is but one power that is our own,
the power to offer the emptiness that we are.
And we make idols of ourselves if we think
we are the only instruments of salvation
ready to God's hand."
Parson Hawthyn in The White Witch, by Elizabeth Goudge