Why am I thinking of death again and again on such fine Spring days? Is it that reminders of death are all around me; in the news, on this island where I live, in my face? The shootings, the suicides, the sicknesses, the loss...
I am reminded, with every new bud that emerges from a branch, and every flower that pushes through the soil, of the cycle that is life.
I have so often only seen the life; the vigorous, muscular pushing of blood, and chlorophyll and tendons and fibers; the reaching up to the sunlight, the drinking in of UVs and life giving rain; the feeding on food and humus. This is LIFE, I say, strong, full, bloated...LIFE.
And yet, what creates the life? Where does that first bud form, but in the casing of a seed that has died to bring forth life. Jesus said it this way, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. I can see it now. A piece of wheat, sitting on a windowsill. Wanting to remain alive. It is enjoying the sun, and there it sits, for years. It is alive, but it is a living death. What if it was placed in the soil? It would have to molder there, die, split open for the life inside of it to burst forth. The original shell discarded, the new life reaching out, and from that one seed, a hundred seeds were brought to life. Thus, in death, we find life. There is a cycle I have become aware of as I near 50 years of age. I've never believed in reincarnation, and neither do I disbelieve, but what I DO know, is that I have been reincarnated many, many times in this current life I am living. Every time I have allowed my will, my expectations, my dreams, or any old thing which no longer serves who I have become or am becoming, to die, after the death (the cold, heart splitting agony of it) comes the life.
Of course I am not referring to taking my life physically. I personally believe I'm meant to be here. I guess I'm just that egotistical. But I AM referring to a laying down, or a dying off, of expectations, judgements, hatreds, self unkindnesses, places of insecurity. I WILL let them die, so I can truly LIVE. When I feel like I can't go on, I remember there's a bud inside of me, a most glorious gift I can't yet imagine, just waiting, waiting, waiting...for something to die. This Spring I am considering the seeds in the soil. I am considering the dying that allows new life to spring forth. I am considering the dying, because it is as important as the living.
I am reminded, with every new bud that emerges from a branch, and every flower that pushes through the soil, of the cycle that is life.
I have so often only seen the life; the vigorous, muscular pushing of blood, and chlorophyll and tendons and fibers; the reaching up to the sunlight, the drinking in of UVs and life giving rain; the feeding on food and humus. This is LIFE, I say, strong, full, bloated...LIFE.
And yet, what creates the life? Where does that first bud form, but in the casing of a seed that has died to bring forth life. Jesus said it this way, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. I can see it now. A piece of wheat, sitting on a windowsill. Wanting to remain alive. It is enjoying the sun, and there it sits, for years. It is alive, but it is a living death. What if it was placed in the soil? It would have to molder there, die, split open for the life inside of it to burst forth. The original shell discarded, the new life reaching out, and from that one seed, a hundred seeds were brought to life. Thus, in death, we find life. There is a cycle I have become aware of as I near 50 years of age. I've never believed in reincarnation, and neither do I disbelieve, but what I DO know, is that I have been reincarnated many, many times in this current life I am living. Every time I have allowed my will, my expectations, my dreams, or any old thing which no longer serves who I have become or am becoming, to die, after the death (the cold, heart splitting agony of it) comes the life.
Of course I am not referring to taking my life physically. I personally believe I'm meant to be here. I guess I'm just that egotistical. But I AM referring to a laying down, or a dying off, of expectations, judgements, hatreds, self unkindnesses, places of insecurity. I WILL let them die, so I can truly LIVE. When I feel like I can't go on, I remember there's a bud inside of me, a most glorious gift I can't yet imagine, just waiting, waiting, waiting...for something to die. This Spring I am considering the seeds in the soil. I am considering the dying that allows new life to spring forth. I am considering the dying, because it is as important as the living.